Yo, ho, ho – a pirate’s life for me!
“To err is human, but to Arrrr is pirate.”
Request: As you read this, please listen to Tom Smith’s Talk Like a Pirate Day Song. It will get you in the scallywag mood!
The ING Rock ‘n” Roll Philadelphia 1/2 Marathon, my first ½ marathon ever, falls on a favorite holiday of mine – Talk Like a Pirate Day. In honor of this, I have decided to dress in pirate garb for the race. Nothing too crazy like Halloween, as I am a novice race runner and don’t want to carry plastic swords or eyepatches, but I’m thinking at the very least, a pirate T-shirt. If you are running this race, and would like to coordinate pirate-gear with me, please shoot me an e-mail at The13thmile@gmail.com. In the meantime, please enjoy the completely non-running related post simply because I love pirate jokes and I love Talk Like a Pirate Day.
Everyone who knows me, knows I have a treasure trove of pirate jokes. Like this one:
How does a pirate get his mast up? He uses a wench!!
And this one:
How did the pirate win the championship boxing tournament? With his killer left hook!
They are hilarious to me. They never cease to entertain. Even when the punch line is obvious. Like:
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of socks? Arrrrgyle!
Why aarrrrr pirate jokes so darn funny? Me hearties, please explain this Bluebeard addiction! I’ve been marooned on the island of pirate-humor for a few years now…jumped into the chopping waters, and never looked back. I’ve been to Arrrrby’s, Long John Silver’s…pirated some “booty”, and found out the cost of pirate earrings – a buccaneer – along the way. (Say it out-loud. A buck an ear. Ohhhh, ba-dum-dum!).
Quick history: at a Halloween party seven years ago, some friends were dressed as pirates. I told a pirate joke, someone else told one, soon, for over an hour we were bartering pirate jokes. In the kitchen of some random college party, we laughed to the point of tears using eyepatches, swords and parrots as props. Since that party, I’ve sailed the seven seas on a consistent hunt for more pirate jokes. They are silly, stupid, fun and the type of humor that doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings – unless you arrrrr a pirate!
Now, these pirate jokes are all in the delivery. You need to set the scene, excite the audience for the pirate antics they are about to hear – and then in all seriousness ask:
Why couldn’t kids get into the movie theater?
Now, let them guess. They most likely will get it, as these jokes are written for kindergarteners. But if they look at you dumbfounded (or in my case, with a bemused smile but eyes that say: “Seriously, you are so weird”) With the utmost inner guttural pirate talk you can, you blurt out: Because the movie was rated RRRRRRR!
How can you not laugh at that!? These jokes are all in the delivery. They’re hilarious on their own – if you’re into pirate jokes. For the rest of the population, they need some good ‘ol fashioned pirate voice, and, talking with your hands doesn’t hurt for emphasis.
But the pirate fascination doesn’t end at the corny jokes. As all pirate fanatics know, September 19th is National Talk Like A Pirate Day. I hope ye be planning some pirate shenanigans – or ya’ll walk the plank!
The history behind Talk like a Pirate Day is fascinating to me. Two friends – Cap’n Slappy Mark Summers and Ol’ Chumbucket John Baur created it and through word-of-mouth and Dave Barry’s humor column, it has virally ballooned. Here, the Talk Like a Pirate Day originators provide a short lesson in talking like a pirate:
Surely, you’ve noticed even Google provides a pirate page on September 19th, and who among us hasn’t set their Facebook status to pirate talk?
Ayy, matey, come on now, you haven’t set your Facebook to “Pirate”? It is very simple to turn your Facebook to pirate lingo. Scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page. See where it says English – US? Click on it. Click on English – Pirate. Arrr! Ye one of us scurvy lot now!
Friends Online are now: Mateys On Deck
News Feed no more! In pirate facebook, it is: News Ahoy!
Photo albums are referred to as: gallery o’ paintins’. (Movies are bewitched portraits)
Events: Grog Fests
Applications become arrplications – you just can’t make this up. Go to Facebook now. Switch over. Even your e-mails from Facebook come in as “Ye Olde Facebook….”
Instead of liking something, you “Arr!” it. So scroll down and “arr!” this post with your Facebook friends!
Want to talk like a pirate when you’re not on Facebook, but you don’t know how? Sail on over to this pirate translator. Simply type in your e-mail and it spits it out in pirate lingo.
For those in the UK, have no fear! Yarr.org.uk is for you! It is a pirate day to raise money for charity – so grab your mateys, brush up on yer pirate lingo and be a scrubbin’ the decks and a washin’ the floors for ye charity o’ choice.
To keep up with pirate humor, follow PirateJokes on Twitter – there are several pirate-themed jokes a day.
Of course, there is also an app for that, or four…Check out the Apple iTunes App Store for Pirate Joke Generators and Pirate Insult Generators, Ye Salty Lily Sniffing Landlubber!
More Pirate Culture:
Post Like a Pirate
CNN Pirate article
The OFFICIAL/Original Talk Like a Pirate Page
This hilarious businessman makes pirate jokes part of his marketing.
And now, I leave you with some silly pirate humor. Because if anything, pirate jokes can make us laugh for a second, before we get back to the reality of our daily lives.
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.
The bartender asks, “Why are you wearing a paper towel?”
“Arrrrr…” says the pirate. “I’ve got a bounty on me head!”
Why are pirates afraid of circles?
Because they heard they’re s’currrrrrvy
A pirate gets off his ship and walks into a local pub with a steering wheel in his pants. He walks up to the bartender to get some rum when all of the sudden the bartender asks him, “Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The pirate looks at him and shrugs, “I don’t know, but it’s driving me nuts!”
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? Several responses work:
P – Because it’s an R that’s missing a leg!
What do pirates and pimps have in common?
They both say YO-HO and walk with a limp!
What is a pirate’s favorite type of music? Arr and B!
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie? Ships Ahoy!